September 11

If you think I'm going to start posting a sappy or touching story about the power of the human spirit during 9/11, think again.

TERRORSTORM.

And as Matthew Bellamy said, "Go to Google Video, type in Terror Storm and you'll find a nice little surprise. It will shed some light on world affairs, put it that way. I rather point you in the direction than preach about it myself."

I know it's the prelims, but this two hours is worth your time.

Indeed, most of us have been willfully ignorant for too long.

Quotable quotes!

So while I was faithfully revising my Biology textbook this afternoon, I decided to pull open the drawers of the dinner table in my living room to satisfy my curiousity.

Interestingly, I found a book.

Things that makes us Singaporean.

Supposedly it is a collection of random quotes from Singaporeans about what truly defines a Singaporean and what makes Singapore, er, Singapore? I have no idea who is it by, but most likely a collective effort between Singaporeans and the government.

Not that I'm complaining, some of the quotes inside are pretty hilarious. Others are pretty intelligent. But the vast majority of the quotes seem to place emphasis on what we Singaporeans are supposed to be proud about.

If you're Singaporean and you're reading this, you know what I'm talking about. Racial harmony, that Singapore is supposed to be "clean and green" and the like. *Cough* Propaganda *Cough*. Go figure.

All right. As stated above, most of the quotes aren't really that worth your time. But I'll quote those which I feel are more interesting (Pardon me, I didn't take the time to include the names of the people who said the following):

Referee kayu, kelong half ball - these are the things that Singaporeans talk about when we mention football.

Never see chewing gum for more than 10 years.

It's the way we speak English, a second language and also Singlish, lor.

Laughing at a man with a pair of yellow boots with curly hair.

TEN THINGS THAT MAKE US SINGAPOREAN

1. We use too many acronyms and keep coming up with new ones.
2. We think that $100000 is a reasonable price for a Toyota Coroll, and $1000000 is a reasonable price for a bungalow, but $5 for a plate of noodles is a barbarous outrage.
3. We think that everything should be 'topped up'.
4. We wear winter clothes indoors and summer clothes outdoors.
5. In a country where people use smart cards for public transit, we have no problems with construction workers riding in the open backs of pickup trucks.
6. We're not ashamed that the government needs to care if we know how to use a toilet or urinal correctly.
7. We're sure that the best way to change social behaviour is through consistent and comprehensive government-sponsored campaigns that permeate as many aspects of life as possible. And if they don't work, we never speak of them again.
8. We think a bus is incomplete without a TV.
9. Every task we take on and every group we form is incomplete without a mission statement and a cheesy slogan.
10. We understand everything on this list.

We complain loudly when subjected to inconveniences but are willing to stand like penguins for hours for freebies.

English, Chinese, not so good.
Maths and Science, good, good, good.

I am Singaporean because I know our government is clean like the streets.

August 9th, 1965.

This post is rather lame, but I have the sudden urge to quote the super funny Mitch Hedberg as well after rewatching his standups.

I went to a pizzeria and I ordered a slice of pizza; the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the 'donate to charity' slice. I would like to exchange this for the 'keep it'!

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want them to, you know? I'm like, "Hey, wait, come back. Let me hold one of you... and feed you a leaf."

A dog is forever in the push-up position.

You know, people think I'm into sports just because I'm a man. I'm not into sports. I mean, I like Gatorade, but that's about as far as it goes. By the way, you don't have to be sweaty and holding a basketball to enjoy a Gatorade. You could just be a thirsty dude. Gatorade forgets about this demographic. I'm thirsty for absolutely no reason. Other than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips for some time. Can I have a Gatorade too, or does that lightning bolt mean "No"?

You know, if I made orange juice, I would not be so hardcore on people. I would be more polite, like I would not print 'shake well' on the carton, cause you don't know how good people can shake, you know? I would write, 'Shake to the best of your ability.' Then I'd have a diagram that shows the uninitiated how to shake. 'Alright, put it over here, then put it over here, then put it over here quicker.'

I like waffles better than pancakes. Because waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps. They say to syrup, "You ain't going anywhere, don't even be trying to creep down the sides. Just rest in these squares, if one square is full, move to the next one. When you hit butter, split up."

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.

I've got a do not disturb sign on my hotel door; it says, "Do not disturb." It's time to go with "Don't disturb." It's been "do not" for too long. We need to embrace the contraction. "Don't Disturb." "Do not" psyches you out. "'Do', alright! I get to disturb this guy! 'Not'... Shit!!... I need to read faster!" I like to wear a do not disturb sign on my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock knock jokes. Say "Hey, how ya doin', nephew?" "Knock knock!" "Read the sign, punk!"

I have an oscillating fan at home; it looks like it's saying 'Noo...' so I like to ask it questions that a fan would say 'no' to. "Do you keep my hair in place?" "Do you keep my documents in order?" "Do you have three settings?" Liar! My fan fuckin' lied to me! Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit!"

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I am older." "You son of a bitch, how'd you do that? Let me see that camera."

I was walking down the street with my friend and he said, "I hear music." As though there's any other way to take it in. You're not special. That's how I receive it too. I tried to taste it, but it did not work.

I wrote a script for a guy, and he said he liked it but he thought that I needed to rewrite it. I said, "Fuck that, I'll just make a copy."

My friend said to me, "You know what I like? Mashed potatoes." I was like, "Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause in there."

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "Fuck that. I'll just get a tan instead."

Classic.

This is unfortunate.

STEVE IRWIN IS DEAD.

I couldn't believe what I read either. But the Crocodile Hunter is dead man. He died after being attacked by a stingray while diving in Australia.

Please go read the article on MSN or Yahoo! if you have got the time.

I'm feeling terribly disappointed now. I used to watch Irwin's documentaries as a kid. And to think he's dead now? Man, it's just horrible.

People die so easily, it's not funny.

Just earlier this year Syd Barrett died. That pissed me off.

A little back further, Eddie Guerrero died. That didn't bother me much, but still I felt it was rather shocking.

And just last year, Mitch Hedberg died of a heart attack.

It really made me think, we need to treasure those around us.

When people say "Live today like it is your last", they aren't kidding.

It does happen. It does.

You may just never see your loved ones the next morning.

Newton's Third Law:

Says that for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

Of course this isn't the oh-so-scientific version, just the one you use to observe events in life.

Kinda like the whole Zen Buddhism and Karma idealogy in My Name is Earl? Do good things and good things happen to you?

Anyway, why the hell am I discussing philosophy. lol.

It's an area of interest of mine, but by no means my area of expertise.

Anyway, today wasn't too bad. Tuition, and I did some revision yesterday.

I had a mini study group with Lilian and Tiffany. We went to East Coast once again and studied at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I've never really been to the Marine Cove area, so I'm still quite fascinated by it. The area is really nice but just terribly small. Well at least is is conducive enough for me to do three papers of MCQ questions for Physics.

That's 120 questions, 480 answers.

And on average I scored about 35/40. Well not too bad, at least my MCQ is getting better.

I'm feeling semi-confident for prelims. That doesn't mean I don't have to revise of course. I'm going to have to work really hard for Social Studies and Geography Elective. Afterall it's my only Combined Humanities subject and I really don't want to screw it up.

I realised I screwed up two of my compre questions for English already. That's 4 marks? Argh WTF. Zzz.

Oh yeah, today is Wayne's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOOOOOO! (no pun intended.)

I was chatting with Siantzu a while ago. She was asking who was the two people I would fall in love with, as stated in my MSN nick.

"Don't tell you." I said.

And then she proceeded to say like:

"Fine fine, and to think I treated you like a good friend."

LOL!

"Well maybe, one of them is my mum?" I said.

"You don't fall in love with your mum, boy," she said.

"You loved her since you were born."

So I retorted,

"OH FINE miss i'm-so-complex."

"Do you want a t-shirt that says 'HEY I'M COMPLEX!'?"

"Yeah! Next year birthday present," she said.

Ah great, now I have to find a t-shirt supplier and think of a design.

LOOK OUT SIANTZU! I'LL MAKE SURE I LIVE TO MAKE THAT SHIRT AND SEE YOU WEAR IT. BWAHAHA.

Well this post will be short. Not much to talk about over the past few days.

Crap, the only revision I did today was a Chemistry paper. I need to start working. OMGWTFHAXBBQ.

Hmmm, not sure what to start with though. I think maybe Biology and my Humans.

Ah well, this is a boring post coming from a bored person. Oh wow, Newton's Third Law at work here?

CHECK BACK FOR UPDATES! HUR HUR.

AUDIOSLAVE.

I just got Audioslave's self-titled album and Out Of Exile.

GOOD STUFF.

I'm suddenly reminded of the good ol' days of Rage Against the Machine.

Chris Cornell has a superb voice. Commerford and Wilk continue to be a tight rhythm section. And Morello just continues to abuse his guitar like how he does best. Cornell's voice just keeps getting better with each release. I read it is because he quit smoking and drinking? All the more you shouldn't smoke in the future.

I'm so looking forward to their next album Revelations, which is set to be released sometime this month. ORIGINAL FIRE IS FUNKY. Ironically the drumbeat isn't too 'original'. Good stuff though.

Not to mention Incubus's new album is set to be released later this year as well. OMG can't wait.

Anyway, I know I haven't blogged lately. It was only when Sophia decided to link me in her blog did I realise what a sloth I was.

This week has been fantastic. The Teachers' Day Concert was disappointing, IMO. Sorry for being so harsh, but the AVA screwed it up bad. And to the bands that performed, you guys should have soundchecked before the curtains drew open.

Ah well, Pedofunk won this year's Talent Search. Eh, no comments really. I felt it was a well-deserved win. They did something that required little preparation and setting up. HENCE, the chances of anything screwing up is pretty much, zero.

Unlike the bands who have the constant problem with sound. Ah bah. Sound sound, it's the very thing that contributes to a good live performance.

I'm not complaining, congratulations to all.

PDS WAS GREAT. PERHAPS THE BEST PERFORMANCE OF THE WHOLE CONCERT. (CALL ME BIASED :X) GOOD JOB TO ALL IN THE SQUAD.

Sure, the performance wasn't anything fancy. But for first timers, you guys have come a long way. Don't mind the minor errors. Overall, you guys have done a lot better than I expected. Kudos to all.

Prior to the concert, I was hanging around backstage. I found out Miss Wang has a diploma in piano and teaches the double bass.

WTF?

I'm taking up double bass lessons from her sometime. HAH!

Oh, and to the PDS people, keep practicing, there's a lot of potential in you all.

Anyway, after the concert and all, I had to settle some minor errands. One was to get my amplifier home safe and sound. And afterwards I had to head down to Tao Nan to meet up for a 6E'02 gathering.

I can't contain my excitement. Muahaha.

Anyway, so yeah I went home first. Brought my amplifier home, and Winston tagged along too. The rain was like OMGWTFHAXBBQ. Wouldn't stop pouring. God, they cancelled ACES Day for the Sec 3s and 4s because of it. ARGH!

So at my house, I showed Winston the Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P) clip of his performance on Comedy Central. Winston thought it was funny.

"I like an escalator because it can never break, it can only become stairs."

HAHA. It's so sad he passed away so early. Why do all the good people die first? Tsk.

Oh anyway, at Tao Nan was when the fun started.

We arrived at the bus stop outside Tao Nan, and we realised that:

"CRAP. IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS AND WE AREN'T ARMED WITH UMBRELLAS?!"

Winston even had the cheek to say that he INTENDED to remind me to take an umbrella before we left my house. ARGH WTF.

So we called Lilian and Tiffany for reinforcements! They brought umbrellas and came to our rescue. Winston and I shared this terribly small umbrella (It was meant for a single person I would say). And we looked homosexual sharing it and walking it to Tao Nan. I wore berms so luckily it was only my shoes that got semi-drenched.

When we finally arrived at the General Office, we met CONSTANCE! She stuck her hand out, and I thought she wanted to give me a handshake!

To my dismay, she just wanted her UMBRELLA back. No wonder it's so small la.

-.-" total WTFAGE. And everybody was laughing at me. lol.

Ah well, I hung around the HOD office and General Office area for a while. Then Terry called and asked where I was.

So I headed to the canteen to find him. And WHAT A SHOCKER.

TERRY IS TALLER THAN ME NOW. LIKE WTFFFF. I couldn't believe it. When we were in Primary 6 he was still shorter than me?

It's amazing how fast he grew.

Haha, he claims he grew lengthwise though.

"I'm more skinny now," he says.

Haha, couldn't help but agree.

Then we spent the remainder of the stormy and wet afternoon by the HOD office meeting up with Mrs Chua and Liang Lao Shi. Liang Lao Shi recognised me but TOTALLY forgot my name. Mrs Chua actually remembers me!

"WOW BRYAN YOU LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT!" -.-"

Yeah that's what she says. Muahaha.

Anyway, Mrs Chua says she keeps a copy of my notes from Primary 6. Amazing eh? I must be like damn popular with the current batch of her students.

She claims because my handwriting > all. YEAH!

Haha Mrs Chua was really funny too. She looked at Siantzu, then looked at Terry, and said:

"This one your boyfriend arh?"

Siantzu nods her head.

"Don't tell me he's from St. Pats?..."

Siantzu nods again...

"...AH COME ON THAT'S SO LAME!"

LOL. Haha. I was surprised at how open minded she is with regards to relationships. Not to mention the former DM who told us Poly > JC. HAHAH.

Oh so afterwards we left Tao Nan and headed to East Coast. We played BOWLING! Hah, I think I pulled a muscle. My fingers kinda hurt now.

BUT OVERALL, it was good fun. Eirene couldn't help making fun of Winston. HAH. Stephen was on the phone for the whole second game la. His phone was in his left hand, since he bowled with his right. Haha, Nicholas and I thought it would be funny if Stephen got so engrossed in talking that...

"Eh darling, hold on arh."

-accidentally throws cell phone instead of bowling ball-

-holds ball up to ear-

"Hello?"

AHHAHAHA. Oh man, we had a blast.

Then we headed down to Mcdonalds, and we sat around one of the tables and started talking about a lot of stuff. TALK TALK TALK. Yes, that's what we did. And a lot of laughs in between.

And it was then we all found out that the ACES in ACES Day stands for:

ALL CHILDREN EXERCISING SIMULTANEOUSLY. WTF? AHHAHA.

Then Jake decided to call Stephen AND THEN me, asking us to buy him tongs for the BBQ later for Desmond.

He called Stephen and still called me? So I placed the placed the phone on the table, unanswered.

Enter NICHOLAS KANG.

HAHAHHA. Don't take it to heart, Jake. But what Nick did then afterwards was comedy gold.

He proceeded to answer my cellphone, and started lambasting Jake in his signature ah beng accent that I haven't heard him do in a long while. Not the damn garand ah beng la. Just that he drags all his words, it's funny. lol. Some what like Johnny in the first of the zhng my car series.

DAMMIT. I should have recorded the conversation. It was so hilarious.

"You tell me: You want your barbecue tonight, or for breakfast?"

HAHA. He's like the master of sarcasm.

Reminds me of when we were Primary 5, and he retorted to Albert's comment. We were learning about Singapore in World War II, and we were told that the Japanese had bombed our water reserves so that we wouldn't be able to last long.

So Albert remarked:

"You mean the Japanese bombed our water supplies ON PURPOSE?! OMGWTFHAX!"

To which Nick retorted,

"No la, accidentally one."

HAHAHHA.

The rest of the day (or night) was just spent hanging out with the gang and Desmond Chow. Unfortunately I didn't stay around for long cause my mum was nagging.

Overall, a wonderful day, and a good week.

Time to mug for prelims!